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ACTIVITY CALORIES BURNED ACTIVITY CALORIES BURNED
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REMOVING CLOTHES: ORGASMIC INTENSITY SCALE:
With partner's consent..........12 Shoes flew off....................35
Without partner's consent......187 Expression didn't change...........1/2
Orchestra swelled..................6
UNHOOKING BRA: Birds sang
Using two calm hands.............7 Large birds.......................7
Using one trembling hand........36 Small birds.......................3
Earth moved.......................30
GETTING INTO BED:
Lifting partner.................15 PULLING OUT:
Dragging partner along floor....16 After orgasm.......................1/2
Using skateboard.................3 A few moments before orgasm......500
ACHIEVING ERECTIONS: PENIS ENVY:
For normal healthy man...........2.5 For woman..........................3
Losing erection.................14 For men...........................72
Searching for it...............115
GUILT:
PUTTING ON CONDOM: Despite no formal training, orgasm
With erection....................1.5 comes easily, naturally..........53
Without erection...............300 You're enjoying sex, despite the
fact that other people are
INSERTING DIAPHRAGM: starving..........................2
If the woman who does it is Sex on your lunch hour.............3
Experienced.....................6 Putting it on expense account.....20
Inexperienced..................73
If a man does it...............680 AGGRAVATION:
Add (5) calories for retreiving it Partner keeps showing plants.......5
from across the room. Partner insists on cuddling the dog
during foreplay..................14
POSITIONS ACCORDING TO NATIONALITY: Partner just visited bathroom for
Italian- Man on top, woman in 7th time.........................10
kitchen........................26 Partner is taking phone calls......7
Russian- Woman on bottom, Partner is making phone calls.....40
man getting permission.........55
American- Both on top...........60 GETTING CAUGHT:
By partner's spouse...............60
POSSIBLE SIDE EFFECTS OF INTERCOURSE: By your spouse...................100
Bouncing.........................7 Trying to explain.................55
Sliding around...................9 Trying to remain calm............100
Serious skidding................12 Leaping out of bed................75
Whiplash........................27 Getting dressed in one motion....500
Thanking partner quickly...........2
ORGASM:
Real............................27
Faked..........................160